I was a seven-year old, towhead boy in Sunday school when I first encountered the theory that I was created in God’s image. Santa Claus looked much more like God than I did. I looked more like Dennis the Menace than Michelangelo’s Sistine Chapel deity. Did God actually look like the Hank Ketchum character in the Sunday funny papers? Was the God of my parents just messing with me? As was becoming a more frequent occurrence in my life, I was confused.
During the ensuing years, I began to ask questions about this and other concepts in the Bible. The answers I received from knowing adults were often, “… because it is” or “… we don’t understand God’s plan.” I have always preferred answers like, “Yes” and “No.” But then, since I was an idiot born in a decade for idiots, I accepted their deflections like:
- If you really pray for your Grandpa to get better, he will
- God never really wanted Abraham to kill his own son
- Capital punishment isn’t really murder
- Turning the other cheek doesn’t really apply to war
The belief that humans were created in God’s image begs many comments and questions; from evolution to race. Hitler had his view of the perfect human. The Ku Klux Klan and The Tea Party have theirs (not necessarily the same.) I have my vision of the future of humans and it is rooted in the biblical foundation that we were created in the image of… OMG!
Scientists recently informed us that there are 40,000,000,000 (give or take a couple) planets in our galaxy that could support life as we know it. Each of those planets orbits its star in the aptly named Goldilocks Zone (not too hot, not too cold…) I, however will confine my thoughts to humans on Earth, but the following theory will, no doubt, be applicable universally.
I call the theory, OMG! (Oh My God for those of you not conversant in social media speak.) It is quite simple really. We will be truly in God’s image, and therefore ready to enter the Pearly Gates, when all humans are of one mixed, undefinable race (and look like Borat?)
Following is the logical proof of OMG!:
IF… Sons look like their fathersIF… Jesus was the son of God
IF… Jesus had medium dark skin and eyes (see any “portrait”)
IF… Dark skin and eye are dominant traits
THEN… God has dark skin and eyes
FACT… When purebreds of the same race mate, their offspring exhibits no change from them (ask Adam & Eve)
FACT… When there is inter-genetic breeding, their offspring can show new characteristics with dominant traits surfacing (ask a dog breeder)
FACT… Interracial breeding is inter-genetic breeding
THEN… the human race will not be in fully God’s image until there has been sufficient interracial breeding
FACT… All races on Earth can inter-breed (ask an NBA player)
FACT…
IF… God is perfect
THEN… Our species is moving toward being created in perfection
SO… The
reinvented “Cheerios Kid” (fourth from the left above) is our future. She is
loving, kind, thoughtful, cute as a button, and empathetic. And, Grace Colbert, the actor portraying this adorable kid is
of
mixed race, a fact that the General Mills Company plays up in a very positive
light. The reactions were as mixed as Grace’s ethnicity. Facebook racists railed it as the end of our society while progressives hailed it as enlightened. But the most interesting and relevant reaction was from Grace’s peers, kids. They did not understand why people wanted the commercial banned from the airways. Most did not even see the racial implications. That is a future that will truly have a human race that is in the image of perfection.
P.S… Words in italics indicate that the author’s tongue was planted firmly in his cheek.
